Joseph Longhany
Stuart Greene
(Your Choice of 2 Student Example Papers)
Part 1
Read the Article I wrote about academic arguments, and pick two of the student example papers. Analyze and compare the extent to which each example paper succeeds in presenting a research conversation, indicating a gap, and contributing to the conversation.
Part 2
Consider Stuart Greene's criteria for developing open-ended questions, and locate the research questions posed in the example papers you chose. To what degree do the questions presented meet the criteria Greene lays out? Re-write the open ended question(s) and manipulate the framing of the questions. (to see examples of re-framing questions, visit the course home page, and read my example questions).
Part 3
Consider the problem that one of the example papers explores, and develop an alternate means of primary research to address the question. Primary research is the research that the writer herself did. For example, I am currently exploring pathways to improve legal writing, and I am doing some primary research in a few weeks. I am meeting with six law students in a focus group. The goal is to understand how their first year of law school went and what they learned about legal writing.
Primary research often consists of interviews, surveys, textual analysis, observations, and experiments. Every student example paper linked up to our course uses some form of primary research.
The goal for part three is for you to develop an alternate means to address the research question presented. Give enough detail to explain how your alternative primary research approach would work.
*NOTE: Blogger is fickle in terms of browser compatibility. Make sure you use Google Chrome when posting to Blogger. Also, log into your Google account in a separate tab, and then post to the board.
I recommend that you write your responses in word and save them. Then, copy and paste your content to the blog. This way, if something goes awry, you have a saved copy of your posting.
If you have any questions, text me at 407-222-2558 or email me at Joseph.Longhany@ucf.edu
Part I
ReplyDeleteFirst, I chose student paper #2, “Kids These Days: An Analysis of the Rhetoric against Youth across Five Generations”. The author does a good job at introducing the argument she is making, as well as previous arguments. She uses multiple cites to show how others perceive generation Y. She also does a good job at introducing the gap, by showing how the previous research does not explain why generation Y is mostly thought of to be negative. The author shows her research through explaining how every generation has had its share of criticism and concludes that generation Y has done nothing to deserve the negativity, yet. The conclusion explains that it is too soon to come up with a verdict on generation Y but even with that being said, older generations will usually see younger kids as a negative part of society.
The second paper I chose is student paper #5, “The Rhetoric behind College Football Recruiting”. The author explains his question well and shows the good and bad of college football recruiting. He also points out the gap in the topic, which is how there is little research behind what the college coaches actually do to recruit players, in a positive manner and not the previous ways he explained, like false promises. He also did a great job at explaining his research extensively and answering his question. His conclusion shows that he believes he found the answer to effective recruiting but he also explains that there is room for improvement to show that his research may have been limited.
I think both papers presented the research very well. They both used a lot of detail in their research and explained both sides of the spectrum while not being biased. I think student paper #2 may have been a better paper because the research wasn’t limited to just one area. Her question was easier to research through the internet and I think it made the paper more broadly accepted. Nevertheless, both papers did a great job with their arguments and they met the criteria laid out in the Longhany paper exceedingly.
Part II
In the first paper I chose, paper #2, the open ended question is if generation Y is any worse than any other generation. The question fits Greene’s criteria well because it can be answered with the tools you have through newspaper articles, interviews from older generations, and through basic internet research. It shows the issue that older generations are often cynical of younger generations without reasons, and it also shows who the question is being answered for, generation Y.
In the second paper I chose, paper #5, the open ended question is what tactics do college coaches use to recruit players. This question fits Greene’s criteria a little less than the first paper but it still fits. It can be answered through interviews from players, it is being answered for future and present players, as well as anyone that wants to know what it’s like to be recruited by a college, but I don’t think that it is organized around an issue, because figuring out what works in college recruiting isn’t really an issue.
Part III
In paper #5 I would do the primary research a bit differently because I think since he only used UCF football players his research was limited. I would’ve interviewed multiple coaches from big schools and smaller schools, as well as players from each. I would interview the best players and also some of the players that weren’t recruited as highly, so that the research could see if and how they are treated differently. I think looking at successful football programs as well as less successful ones would show a difference in the ways they recruit. This way the paper wouldn’t be so limited and could show how places other than UCF recruit.
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ReplyDeletePart 1
ReplyDeleteHartig Student Paper 4
The student attempts to say maybe there is no need for a solution to piracy and if so, the solution must satisfy both the public and the entertainment industry. A majority of the paper is detailing both sides of the argument, as big as they are. However, he talks about how to entertainment industry lobbies for bills to end piracy instead of adapt and find a solution. He cites the problems inherent in all bills tried and how the bills are one sided foe the entertainment industry. He contributes that rather in finding “solution”, the industry and everyone needs to adapt to changing times. It is a relatively small, but rather enlightening contribution to the piracy conversation by possibly changing the conversations direction.
Kitt Student Paper 2
Kitt sees many studies are done about the “immoral” nature of millennials and the belittlement of our generation. However, nothing is said to compare previous generations morals. Many claims today say our generation, millennials, are terrible, ill mannered, spoiled, immoral, etc. However, Kitt goes back through journals and newspapers of several previous generations and discovers hypocrisy in adults. The same rhetoric was used against young adults by their elder’s years ago, exactly like today. This clearly and transparently shows the gap in the research of rhetoric towards new generations. Unfortunately, this paper only adds little to the conversation besides making people more aware of the flip side.
Part 2
Hartig Student Paper 4
The question is: Should Congress intervene for a solution to piracy? Since this is solving and evaluating a problem, it can be answered through the web. It’s target audience is congressman and people who make laws as well as a secondary audience of the public eye and the entertainment industry. The question also revolves around piracy and the paper evaluates solutions to piracy for Congress. Another way to frame the question is: Are there mutual, working solutions to piracy between the entertainment industry and the public?
Kitt Student Paper 2
The Question is: Is Generation Y worse than previous generations? It’s target audience is primarily the elders of this generation, but aims to educate everyone, so there is no one specific audience. There is an issue of negative rhetoric used against youth of new generations by the elders of older ones. Additionally, it can be answered by searching newspapers and other primary sources from decades ago to see any hypocrisy or the same thing happening to our generation right now. Another way to frame the question could be: Has negative rhetoric been used against youth by the elders regardless of the generation?
Part 3
Kitt Student Paper 2
Rather than using newspapers, which may be biased due to who wrote it and its goals, interview people. There is someone alive today who was born in 1900. However, impractical this approach is, firsthand accounts always provide better sources to second hand accounts. There will be two groups, the adults and the elders of each generation, with at most five generations. Interview as many people from each group of each generation about the rhetoric used against themselves by adults and the rhetoric adults used against the youth. After analysis, if the data concurs with present rhetoric against youths, then that will have shown each generation was no worse.
Part 1.
ReplyDeleteFirstly, I chose student paper #1 which was called “The Effects of Internalized Oppression on the Black Community” by Corrin Pinkney. Corrin Pinkney, who is the author of this piece, in the very beginning of her paper did a very good job of introducing the issue of intra-racial color discrimination and prejudice and in breaking down several issues that the black community faces today. At the very end of the first paragraph a brief statement describing the reason for this research is presented as well. As the paper progresses into the introduction, we begin to see more cited sources used that support her statement that the black community has been subjected to internalized oppression for many years and her research to prove its effect on people. The author began by building a timeline that began with institutionalized slavery and then continued with more racism. The scientology of genes is said to be the main reason behind ideologies that cause certain people to deem themselves as better than others. The realities of slavery are brought up as evidence to support the “whiter the better ideology” that causes riffs even in the African American community. I also liked that she used two very good sources (Standards of Beauty and Relationships). It can be said that she succeeded in creating a good research conversation because of how she proved her point by using several different sources that backed her position. Her results were very interesting to me because of the response of the individuals she interviewed. She concluded that the effects of internalized oppression were being reversed in today’s youth and personally I was not expecting that to be the case.
Secondly, the other paper that I chose was student paper 2. This paper was titled as “Kids These Days: An Analysis of the Rhetoric against Youth across Five Generations” and it was written by Jessica Kitt. I found this topic to be very interesting and was expecting this to be a great experiment as well. The premise of this paper was that generations of youth are always being critiqued and judged negatively by older generations. She provided several examples to show how people saw generation Y. She also showed that generation Y is wrongly being judged by the elderly but she also makes us understand that we cannot control that no matter what older generations will always have a certain negativity against the youth.
I believe that both papers/examples used good amounts of evidence to back their arguments and I think they met the criteria in the Longhany paper.
Part 2.
In the first paper that I chose, which was student paper #1, the open-ended question that was posed was “The Effects of Internalized Oppression on the Black Community”. I believe that it did not follow the criteria created by Stuart Greene because that statement was not open-ended and it could not be interpreted in many ways. The question was biased and could only written about if there was evidence to support that there was internalized oppression in the black community. I think the question could be better rewritten as “The Effects of Issues in the African American Community”.
In the second paper that I chose, which was student paper #2, the open-ended question was “Kids These Days: An Analysis of the Rhetoric against Youth across Five Generations”. I believe that the question abided by the criteria set out by Stuart Greene because it can be answered by providing evidence from several different sources from several different platforms.
Part 3.
I believe that for the student paper #1 I could have presented alternate means of primary research by possibly doing sit down interviews with different groups of African Americans, such as middle class African American families or couples, and inner city African Americans. This would provide me with different outlooks on oppression by different types of African Americans.
With the student paper #2, I think that I can possibly talk to only the youth and get their examples on how they are viewed by their older predecessors.
I read the same papers you did! I believe we had a very similar experience analyzing them. I agree with your perspective in part three! I never thought about that. The personal views could definitely develop differently in a different environment. Excellent job!
DeletePart 1:
ReplyDeleteI chose paper #2 for my first paper. The writer uses good organization to make the paper easy to follow. The writer cites many resources to back up points made in the paper. The paper addresses many of the generations of our time, and the issues that are normally brought up when talking about the younger generations. I chose #4 for my second paper. It addresses the question very well.
Part 2:
In the first paper I chose, paper #2, the open ended question is if Generation Y is more entitled than any other generation. It follows Greene’s criteria very well. In the second paper I chose, paper #4, the open ended question is if its worth it to fight piracy on the internet.
Part 3:
For paper #2 I would do different primary research by interviewing kids in these generations, as well as their parents and peers. This allows you to get a different perspective on the issue.
Part I
ReplyDeleteKyle Coltrain’s The Rhetoric Behind College Football Recruiting
Kyle Coltrain, the author of the paper, started presenting the research conversation in the second paragraph of the paper. The first paragraph contains the ‘hook’ paper as well as little background information of the topic of the paper. The hook that writes ‘Recruiting, at its core, is like sales; a coach is trying to sell his school to a player’ is one feature that the author utilizes to Segway the conversation in the paper. The author shows his research about the subject right from the first paragraph. The references may create credible and reliable effect of the paper to the audience. In the end of the first paragraph, the author also introduces some rhetorical open-ended questions, much like a thesis in an essay.
The paper’s niche is available on the fourth paragraph—after two paragraphs of background information and common facts—which is an excellent place in this place. While the transition could have been done in a more seamless manner, the author to a certain extent successfully indicated the gap in the paper. The author continued to back up his gap in the methods section of the paper, which comes right after, while also listing the research and purpose of the paper. As Joseph Longhany wrote in his paper, author should pick a niche topic, yet not too niche where no audience would care. The gap, in this case, is not only interesting to the college football fanatics but also to analytical human resources people as well.
Jessica Kitt’s Kids These Days: An Analysis of the Rhetoric against Youth across Five Generations
Jessica Kitt, the author of the paper, much like Coltrain, started presenting the conversation in the first and second paragraph of the paper. Unlike Coltrain’s, Kitt’s paper seem to have done extensive research on the respective topic and introducing the gap in a non-clear-cut way. In Coltrain’s paper, the gap can be easily seen in the fourth paragraph due to the poor use of transition words in the fourth paragraph. In Kitt’s paper, however, she cleverly blended the gap inside her other points, establishing a seamless transition and flow to the paper. While there is no clear indication of the gap, audience may assume the gap of the paper to be the fourth and fifth paragraph of the paper.
The author continued the conversation in the following section, basing the gap on research and opinion. The author, to some extent, also manage to express a neutral point of view on the gap. Having a neutral point of view in any writing is very difficult for any author, let alone the veteran author. She successfully continued the conversation by laying out all the facts and providing little opinion on the matter.
Part II
Kyle Coltrain
The open-ended question in this paper is the rhetoric that coaches use to promote their schools and pitch to student athletes. This question, to some extent follow Stuart Greene’s criteria. The question is not too niche, yet not too broad as well. The author cleverly set up a path to lay out his points. The question does not necessarily identify an issue, but it identifies a situation that has been around for a while, yet not addressed. In fact, the author points out that there has been relatively little research into factors that affect college recruiting. In addition, the author even narrow the answer to top recruits, to eliminate as many errors as possible and control the variables.
Part III
ReplyDeleteKyle Coltrain
The author utilized an interview and survey with his college teammates as his primary sources. In addition to the two, the author should have chosen to use himself as a primary source. He himself is a living proof of the experience. Although his experience may have been biased because it includes emotions, the author should approach it in a way to help the audience understand the nooks and crannies of the process. His experience, most certainly, have been included in the written paper, but more inclusion of his experience will debunk or confirm some assumptions that people may have regarding college football recruiting.
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ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletePart 1
ReplyDeleteStudent Paper 1, “The Effects of Internalized Oppression on the Black Community”, demonstrates a well-developed academic piece that presents research conversation. At the beginning of this writing, Corrin Pinkney introduces her question by first providing an overview of the origin of colorism and its development in the black community over the years. Before the she even starts discussing her own research, she weaves in quotations supporting previous research on black-on-black color discrimination and how it came about within the black community. This research primarily strengthens the argument that colorism plays a major role in the discrimination between light and dark skinned individuals and how it has been incorporated into the social and cultural aspects in the community. By introducing pervious research from other sources, the student creates a gap allowing her to present her own research which focuses on whether black individuals today are more or less oppressed due to the shade of their skin. By conducting her own research, the student develops evidence to support that there appears to be no preference for dark or light skin black people and that colorism is no longer a major issue in the community. And therefore, the student’s paper contains the proper elements to correctly establish a research conversation.
Similar to Student Paper 1, in Student Paper 2, “Kids These Days: An Analysis of the Rhetoric against Youth across Five Generations”, Jessica Kitt successfully creates research conversation by weaving in evidence that supports her argument that every generation has been a target of criticism by older generations. The student uses documentation from each past generation to indicate this appearance of criticism. By providing documentation that contains criticism of the younger generation over the course of many generations, she effectively demonstrates her claims in the research conversation. The research she intertwined into the paper covers the gap found in the original research question. This gap being: has each generation experienced some sort of negative criticism from older adults? Based on the sources found in the piece, it is clear that Jessica’s research is relative and contributes to the overall research conversation.
Part 2
Student Paper 1 and Student Paper 2 both fully meet Stuart Greene’s criteria for what makes a good open-ended question. Student Paper 1’s question is as follows: has the past perspective on light skinned and dark skinned black people remained the cause of the continuation of internalized oppression on the black community? While answering this question, the student explores to what extent the perspective has effected the community as well as whether or not it actually remains the source of the oppression. However, the question could be re-framed as: what key factors outline the oppression among light and dark skinned black people and are they still the reason behind the internalized oppression in the black community today? Likewise, Student Paper 2 investigates the question: how do the past generations compare to the current young adults being labeled as entitled, narcissistic, and lazy. This paper explores the how and also answers the extent to which the generations compare by using sources that describe the young adults of the previous generations.
Part 3
ReplyDeleteIn Student Paper 1, Corrin Pinkney uses interviews as her source of primary research. However, conducting a survey shaped around dating preference and experiences of oppression in the black community could be a better means of performing research because it would provide a larger sample size and allow participants to mark down whether they are light or dark skinned. By having a larger sample size, I could collect data to determine common preferences found by light and dark skinned black people and if these preferences have any correlation to their experiences of oppression. Although this method is similar to how the student obtained her data, it would provide more concrete evidence due to the sample size it entails.
Part Two
ReplyDeleteThe research question in Student Paper One is “For hundreds of years, it has been taught that white is superior to black. This ideology has been drilled into the black community’s collective mind for generations. It is in this teaching that one can understand why the black community suffers from internalized oppression.” This question is effective, but it could be rewritten to “For hundreds of years, it has been taught that white is superior to black. However, how is the ideology effecting the black community in modern times?” This new question is far more specific to the main purpose of the paper and is more specific.
The research question in Student Paper Two is “The prevailing view of Generation Y in media and popular culture is that they are essentially a group of spoiled brats.” This research question can be rewritten as “The prevailing view of Generation Y in media and popular culture is that they are essentially a group of spoiled brats, however how did this claim occur and how is Generation Y different from other generations?” This question is far more specific and invites more opportunities to add to the current conversation.
Part Three
ReplyDeleteThe author of Student Paper Two could interview people from each of the generations she presented in her argument. Rather than telling information about the different generations, she could show by obtaining interviews and asking their opinions. She could use questions similar to, “What view do you have/or did have of the generation that included your children?” “How do you view Generation Y?” and “Which generation do you believe is/was the most ideal group of individuals?”. These interview questions would strengthen the author’s argument.
(My response keeps getting deleted when I post it, so unfortunately, Part One is in two posts and the other parts have their own separate post. I apologize for the inconvenience.)
ReplyDeletePart One
Student Paper One does an adequate job of presenting a research conversation, indicating a gap, and contributing to the conversation by taking a claim and presenting information on both sides of the argument. “The Effects of Internalized Oppression on the Black Community” takes older claims, presents them and researches the question presented earlier to personally answer it. This research was conducted with different people during an allotted time period. This “gap”, was the question itself. Has the gap in African Americans decreased or increased? Despite other claims brought on the subject, the author of this article answers these questions with her own research, along with the insight from others. This creates her own viewpoint, which she presents in the conversation. Her input properly uses the insight of others to form and present her own argument.
(Part One Continued)
ReplyDeleteStudent Paper Two presents a typical stereotype for many generations. Her article, “Kids These Days: An Analysis of the Rhetoric against Youth across Five Generations” starts with presenting common stereotypical views of the Millennial Generation. This common stereotype is a perfect conversation topic, since there are multiple viewpoints to argue on. Her research method is very interesting and brings a multitude of important points into the conversation. Mostly, this involves bringing explanations about other generations. Eventually her input in the conversation does in excellent job presenting her agreement.
(Part One Continued Again)
ReplyDeleteBoth papers follow a similar setup, but Student Paper Two does a better job during presentation. Both papers show a gap effectively. However, Student Paper One presents more research to discuss. This includes personally conducted surveys of real people. Both arguments are strong, but Student Paper Two mostly relies on the information provided rather than physical research. Overall, both papers effectively entered the conversations.
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ReplyDeletePart 1
ReplyDeleteMy first student paper choice was “Video Games and the Hero’s Journey” by James Plyler (Paper 6). Plyler writes an excellent introduction which explores the evolution of appreciation of stories told through various forms of media. At first, Plyler describes how obsolete niche media like novels and comic books have had stories become popular in translations of such through media like television and movies (the case shown is Game of Thrones and super hero tales). This segways into the reveal of the gap, which uses evidence from various studies against the public’s negative stigma of video games, relating gaming as being a niche form of media with imaginative narratives much like the aforementioned books, and showing benefits gained from gaming. Within the paper, I felt Plyler’s first-hand analyses of various video games compared to Campbell’s “Hero’s Journey” was a tad out of place – especially how it came after the intro which had multiple sections exploring the benefits and aspects of telling a story within games. Still, as an overall piece, the use of studies aided Plyler’s overall message despite a weak personal account.
My second student paper choice was “Combating Internet Piracy: Is The Cost Too Great?” by Richard Hartig (Paper 4). Hartig explores the difficulties of combatting an inevitable problem – internet piracy. Hartig takes a different approach on their topic compared to Plyler. Instead of presenting personal accounts within one opinion of the topic, Hartig explores both sides of the piracy issue and puts it in the context of present day to illustrate the complications of an easy solution. This allows him to make an appropriate conclusion in the paper’s outro. Much like the first student paper, this paper uses studies to aid the exploration of the topic, but unlike the first paper, legislature is brought into the discussion as well.
Part 2
The research question of “Video Games and the Hero’s Journey” (Paper 6) is “Are video game narratives worth the appreciation of the general public?” while the question for “Combating Internet Piracy: Is The Cost Too Great?” (Paper 4) is “Does the legal problems of internet piracy deserve to be combatted and how will that be done?” Both follow Greene’s criteria, presenting open-ended questions which define the boundaries of the issue and are organized around the issue. With Paper 6, the issue uses two primary tools: the story-telling format set by Campbell’s “Hero’s Journey,” as well as the positive observations supporting the complexity of storytelling within games found in various studies. Paper 4’s boundaries are set within the various statuses of bills such as SOPA and PIPA, and are further explored in the article.
Part 3
For Plyler’s “Video Games and the Hero’s Journey” (Paper 6), the one problem I mention in Part 1 was the use of a personal account to further the exploration of the issue. Thus, for an alternative means of primary research, I would have rather Plyler used the plot of media using video games as source material rather than the journeys found within the games themselves. This would illustrate a neat parallel look at the situation presented within the first paragraph showing how many forms of obscure media find their appreciation within more accessible forms of media. Using the plots within the video games themselves ignores the ability for the games’ stories to be more accessible to people outside the community.
I read paper number 4 also. I agree with your interpretation of how the two papers differ in terms of the individual's stance.
DeletePart 1
ReplyDeleteThe article “Combating Internet Piracy: Is the Cost Too Great?” explores the problem of internet piracy and the issues with anti-piracy legislation. In the introduction, the Author of the article does a great job of showing the way that the issue of internet piracy has been approached through the creation of various acts and agreements. He goes on to develop the conversation by expressing that the most of the current legislation solutions threaten important values and finishes off the introduction by creating a gap to enter the conversation and express that a solution is required that protects everyone’s rights or the problem must be left to take care of itself. In the next part of the article, the conversation is developed by comparing the anti-legislation from the proponents and opponents sides and then expressing the reasoning for why the current attempts to solve the problem of internet piracy are wrong.
In “Video Games and the Hero’s Journey,” the author develops the introduction in much the same way as the previously mentioned article. He begins with some background information that is very well organized by giving examples of the way that different narrative mediums gain attention in society and how some narratives, such as video games, do not get the attention they disserve. He then continues on to give examples of previous research that has been done to show that video games are an effective narrative medium and creates a gap by stating that people need to understand this research in order for video games to be more widely accepted as a source of narrative medium. The conversation then continues with details of the problems associated when speaking of video games and player role in developing the narrative of a video game. Also, he expresses that video games really need to be understood and that there are advantages involved in playing video games such as developing task switching ability.
Part 2
In “Combating Internet Piracy: Is the Cost Too Great?” the authors research question is: Should congress should develop a solution that protects everyone’s rights or not get involved in the issue of internet piracy at all? The question is formed in a way that meets the criteria that Green lays out. Another way of framing the question would be: Is fighting internet piracy more important than the values of freedom, democracy and individual privacy?
In “Video Games and the Hero’s Journey,” the research question is: Are video games an effective narrative medium? This question also meets the Green’s criteria. The question satisfies all of the criteria. Framing the research question in another way could result in a question such as: Should video game narratives be studied in school?
Part 3
The problem in “Video Games and the Hero’s Journey,” is that people have a misconception about video games that they are childish and a waste of time, whereas there is significant research that show video games can be a very effective medium for narratives for reasons such as the player can fully immerse themselves and be part of the story rather than passively watching a film or reading a book. An alternate means of primary research could be a survey of people of every age group that do or do not play video games whether video games are an effective narrative medium to show whether a correlation exists between the understanding of video games and the effectiveness of the video game medium for narratives. Also, an experiment could be conducted where people experience the same narrative in both a film for and a video game form and rate the effectiveness or immersion.
Part 1
ReplyDeleteI chose “Disney Princess Series: More than Your Average Fairy Tales” student paper 9. I found the paper intriguing and thought provoking. I had never realized how the gender stereotypes in fairy tales effect how children learn and see the world. The author recognized the research that has been done before her about the prominence of gender stereotypes in fairy tales, but she found that children need to be more aware of the stereotypes at an earlier age. Her plan of action to change this problem consisted of writing a letter to the superintendent of orange county schools. She included a lesson plan, how to make it cost effective, and a worksheet. Then rationale on why these lesson plans will help solve the problem. The next paper I chose was “Combating Internet Piracy: Is the Cost Too Great?” student paper 4. In this paper the author analyzes both for and against an anti-piracy legislation, but the real problem is that no one can really control the internet. His solution would be to let things work themselves out. If congress tries to be involved, then they could seriously damage the internet’s economic growth. Congress needs laws that can be flexible when it comes to the internet.
Part 2
In student paper 9 the open ended question is “To help students learn the importance of unnecessary gender stereotyping and the need to be who you are.” An alternate version of the question is: How can we counteract the prominent gender stereotypes in children’s fairy tales. The audience for this piece is the superintendent of orange county schools, to change the school lessons, and the general public, to raise awareness to the problem. In student paper 4 the question of the piece is if the congress should intervene with piracy. Another way of posing the question is: Is the government proactive against piracy on the internet?
Part 3
Student paper 9 could have done research by asking various aged children how they feel about the princess movies both boys and girls. Then analyze how the gender stereotypes effect the kids and if the kids notice the stereotypes. In student paper 4 the author could have talked to big record companies about how piracy effects their business or a congressman to ask about their future policies against piracy.
Part I
ReplyDeleteThe student paper by Krista Brancato is primarily concerned with feminism in children's literature, or lack thereof. She presents a research conversation by clearly stating her argument time and time again, as well as providing evidence to justify her dissatisfaction (I presume) with the roles women and girls are assigned in the stories. She notes that the male characters tend to take on more active and adventurous roles, while the female characters tend to be more “submissive and docile.” The author is able is indict a gap through her original research topic regarding the disparities between the presentations and boys and girls in fairy tales - backed up by countless statistics and citations. And she contributes to the conversation so well by introducing an outside source to support her thesis and wrap up her claims.
The second student paper by Kyle Coltrain centers on (as appropriately titled) the rhetoric behind the recruitment process of college football. He presents a research conversation by discussing methods and outcomes to different styles of recruiting, which is practically a salesman gig, as Coltrain states. He indicts a gap with the (for the most part) inconclusivity of his research’s results. The results were scattered in every category, except for relationship (no brainer on this ones). He contributes to the conversation by talking about football. Just kidding, he contributes by providing statements from several other players he had interviewed. Not surprisingly, every player he had interviewed all shared a similar story: the strong bond between them and their coach.
Part II
Krista Brancato’s paper essentially asks, “how sexist are fairy tales?” To put this question into more academic terms, the question she raises deals with how gender roles can be traced back to adolescence and how perhaps being introduced to such gender roles at an early stage in life when the mind is beginning to develop thoughts and emotions has created a lasting impact that has further led to the growth and acceptance of patriarchal values and male dominance. On the other hand, Kyle Coltrain’s paper brings up a simple question at regarding (at least what I thought at first) the methods of rhetoric behind recruitment in college football. Further on towards the end of the paper, he answers this question by making his point that human relationships are of utmost importance.
Part III
Looking back at Coltrain’s paper, I would be lying if I said that I wouldn’t change a few aspects to make his research a bit more suitable to my style of approach. For instance, instead of interviewing the players and asking them about how forming a hearty relationship with their prospective coach was practically the deciding factor, I would interview the coaches. I’d ask them the general process of recruitment, that is finding the players and attempting to woo them in hopes that they’d be able to win the coach a nice game-winning title to add onto his or her portfolio. What type of language was used? Tone of speech? Were other factors spoken about besides football? Since the thesis rests on rhetoric behind recruitment, a good chunk of the paper should be about the process behind those in charge of delivering such rhetoric.
- Jenelle Hernaez
Part 1
ReplyDeleteI chose student paper 1 “The Effects on Internalized Oppression on the Black Community” and student paper 2 “Kids These Days: An Analysis of the Rhetoric against Youth across Five Generations.” Both authors succeed in explaining what their research is and what it means. In paper 1 she’s gives good examples which helps the audience understand the research. In paper 2 the author separates each generation in way that’s easy to comprehend. For both papers, i believe the gap was introduced well. Conducting interviews and a lot of resources contribute it to be a good research paper.
Part 2
In paper 1 the open ended question that is asked is, what are the effects of internalized oppression on the black community. I believe this paper does meet the criteria. This topic is very relevant to us now and has been for decades. There’s a lot of history that goes into the research and understanding on why this has happened. For paper 2, the open ended question asked was the rhetoric against youth across five generations. I don’t believe it meets the criteria all the way because it’s not really an open minded question. It’s just a research on the youth across 5 different generations.
Part 3
For student paper 2, I believe the author could have had more interviews with at least 2 people from each generation. To help the readers and researchers that have done pervious research to understand how each generation was raised. The author could have asked more question that could lead the reader to think/wonder about the research.
Part 1
ReplyDeleteAfter reading student paper #4, the author provides a concrete question: how can Congress go about creating laws to protect everyone’s freedoms and keep them satisfied when it comes to the Internet and piracy laws. The author fully presents this conversation using modern government acts and by identifying the underlying problems the government has with piracy. In the paragraph titled “Conclusion and Solution,” the writer indicates a gap by giving her own opinion on what specific piracy law Congress should pass. This is also how the writer contributes to the overall conversation. By providing additional information on the entertainment industry and their means of preventing piracy, the writer throws in her two cents by explaining why their methods would be good or bad.
In student paper #8, compared to student paper #4, the writer includes more historical information and a timeline in order to fully prepare her conversation. To bring in a gap, the writer brings in data from UCF in order to fulfill her research topic, to bring together UCF and life outside of the school. To contribute to the overall conversation of LGBTQ rights and how UCF affected these rights, the writer acknowledged, in her own opinion, that UCF wasn’t perfect with their policies in the past, but has gotten better towards the present.
Part 2
In student paper #4, the writer provides and open-ended question by asking how and what can Congress do in order to protect everyone’s rights when it comes to the Internet. This question is rather broad, and because it is so open-ended, it can just be asked as such and not need much tweaking. However, in student paper #8, the writer asks how UCF has progressed over the years when it comes to LGBTQ rights. Unlike student paper #4, #8’s question isn’t as broad, according to Greene’s terms, and could most likely be reframed as this: what has UCF provided the LGBTQ community since the day it was established?
Part 3
In my opinion, the author who wrote student paper #4 could have provided much more information regarding Internet piracy but looking beyond legislation and interviewing everyday people who browse the Internet. They could have taken the time to gather random users from social media sites like Twitter, Reddit, and Facebook and get their take on piracy and overall Internet freedoms. In order to fully understand what piracy laws could work, the writer could have interviewed these people to find the root of the problem when it comes to piracy, asking questions like, “Do you partake in illegal pirating online?” “Should media be available for download online?” or “How should the government go about protecting the rights of individuals like yourself when it comes to Internet piracy?” Opinions of people who readily use the Internet should be greatly observed and noted.
Part I:Student paper one succeeded in presenting all suggested characteristics to write an accurate academic article. In Joseph Longhany’s reading we are introduced to these characteristics in order to write a successful research article which are presenting a conversation, indicating a gap, and contributing to the conversation. In Corrin Pinkney’s article she addresses the conversation in her introduction by the ugly truth of prejudice and discrimination towards skin color. But then she asks why? By asking these questions the author is able to locate her niche and feed off of it into writing a compelling article. Overall, she concludes that lighter skin tone is what people find beautiful (due to the backlash of slavery what was considered acceptable) and since lighter skinned blacks have more characteristics of white people our society has this twisted view point of beauty. Through her copious amounts of research made by others and her personal interviews she contributes to the conversation. Instead of creating a short abstract of the paper such as the first student paper two addresses the conversation through numerous amounts of quotes and found information. Near the fourth paragraph Jessica Kitt starts to introduce her niche. She argues that every generation constantly degrades the newer generation. By providing the audience with information on Generation Y, The Greatest Generation, The Silent Generation, The Baby Boomers, and Generation X she is able to show how the previous generations looking at these labeled generations were all considered entitles, spoiled, self-centered, and narcissistic. The author in this second paper contributes to the conversation with facts and statements much like the author in the first paper.
ReplyDeletePart II:The research questions posed in these papers both discuss a common general topic but shed light as to why this topic is viewed like this. By illuminating these questions, the young writers are able to create a very compelling article and a new interesting conversation topic. In student paper one the question posed is why is beauty based on skin complexity? In student paper two the question posed is how do past generations compare to newer generations? In Stuart Greene’s article he lays out how to write a successful paper. He addresses the idea of starting with an open ended question which both student paper one and student paper two did strongly. In student paper one and two the best way to re-word and manipulate the question is to address all the topics discussed in both articles. For example, student paper one could address all the main topics she discusses. Such as what shapes a beautiful person? Or to go into a deeper aspect, what does society see as black beauty? For student paper two a re-worded question for this article needs to address why older generations see younger generations as failures. The author could ask why the difference between generations is deemed unworthy instead of praised. There are constant improvements from generation to generation but yet older generations do not see the success, why is that?
Part III:Primary research for both student papers were done by extensive research through interviews, newspapers, and various other things. Given the research question both students were able to find enough primary research and feed off of it to create these articles. Some other primary research I would suggest is documentaries for student one. Documentaries as simple as beauty commercials throughout time, beauty has changed from generation to generation but the core of it all can be seen through these different commercials through the generations. She can ask herself what type of characteristics she sees in the black race in these beauty commercials or even beauty ads. For student two their primary research is much harder. I believe finding newspaper articles was the best and smartest approach. Its hard to watch documentaries about generations degrading other generations or even finding people to interview from generation to generation since old age is a limiting factor.
Part 1
ReplyDeleteI chose papers #4 and #9. Both writers used good organization and simple and direct language to get their points across to a broad audience. “Combating Internet Piracy: Is the Cost Too Great?” Presents the question: Should congress be involved in finding a solution to Internet piracy? The paper addresses both sides of the argument but his contribution is that instead of finding a “solution” that the industry needs to adapt to the problem at hand. “Disney Princess Series: More than Your Average Fairy Tales” Poses the question: What effect do Disney princess movies have on children today? She presents ideas from others that basically say that they teach girls to be domestic and submissive and they teach boys to be dominant and aggressive. Her contribution was that by the stories show students how to identify different behaviors common to either gender, they also notice the stereotypes and try to copy them in order to gain acceptance.
Part 2
“Combating Internet Piracy: Is the Cost Too Great?” Presents the question: Should congress be involved in finding a solution to Internet piracy? This question definitely meets the criteria. It is an easy question to understand in terms of whom the paper was written for and it is an easy question to form an opinion about. Another way this question could be posed is: Should piracy be stopped? This goes with Hartig's stance of a compromise as opposed to a solution.
“Disney Princess Series: More than Your Average Fairy Tales” Poses the question: What effect do Disney princess movies have on children today? This is a very valid question in today's society and it meets the criteria posed by Greene. Another way this question may be asked is: How might the stereotypes portrayed in Disney movies be hurting children today? Children who are not like the stereotypes may see their differences as abnormal and become confused and possibly depressed.
Part 3
I chose to explore the topic of Disney movies and their effects on children today. In order to research this topic I would meet with a small groups of children in the 6 to 9 range. I would show them a movie and then ask guided question about how the characters made them feel and how their genders were portrayed in the movie. I would then meet with a small groups of students at the undergraduate level and show the same movies and ask the same questions. I would compare the data between the younger and the older groups. Brancato only used herself and other forms of other peoples research. I feel like I would need a wide range of ages and feelings in order to really understand the effect on students today.
PART 1:
ReplyDeleteI chose Paper #1, “The Effects of Internalized Oppression on the Black Community”. The author Corrin Pinkney does a great job at first giving background information into the subject at the very beginning. She quotes other experts right off the bat within the introduction. This establishes her credibility and shows she has done other research on the black community. There are many citations within the introduction. She then proceeds to talk about black hair and how people were taught from an early that white is superior to black. She then continues to talk about the ideology of this and give some more citations and quotes from other experts. The gap within this article is when she stops citing other people and adds her own input on black to black discrimination started and how lighter black were not even considered black. Then she returns to her research and quotes towards the end of the introduction. Though throughout the piece she does still quote other experts as well, as the article goes on, she is adding in more and more of her own input. This is how she will contribute to the “conversation”. Now paper #4, “Combating Internet Piracy: Is the Cost Too Great?”, the introduction is a bit shorter than the first paper, but does still contain many sources and background information from other experts. The gap is all at the end of the introduction in this paper and is not followed by more research. Catherine Schutz adds her input in by stating how the internet would be different if specific piracy laws were passed and the effects of them. She also says that they are open to discussion and is welcomed in the public eye. According to Schutz, it is hard for these laws to be passed and continue to protect everyone’s rights. Like paper #1, throughout the article she adds more of her information into the piece than research from other experts which helps contribute to the conversation.
PART 2:
The question for paper #1 is “What are the terms that you must be associated with in order to be considered the part of the black oppression.” I do not believe that this consists of all the beliefs of Green’s criteria. There Is no right answer to this question and this topic is so controversial that there will not be a universal right answer. Another way you can form this question would be “What color is too light to be considered ‘Black’”
The question for paper #4 is if the government should try to get involved with piracy or is too much of a risk to try and protect everyone’s rights. I do believe that this meets the criteria according to Green’s research. You could reframe this question “Is piracy a big enough issue to risk taking rights and freedoms away from our citizens?”
PART 3:
In paper #1 I would consider doing the primary research with a survey that I would send to multiple African Americans. I would make it an effort to make sure there was research from different financial standings and families. This is so I could see the different opinions from a variety of different African Americans.